I have been super busy over the last 2 months. I was studying for a test to become certified in the UK, so I can hopefully find a good job over here. I’m super excited that I passed and have more time again for blogging and enjoying life. However, this also means, I have way more time to obsess.
This month marks the second cycle of trying to conceive again after my miscarriage. I’ve never been more fixated on properly charting. My chart isn’t as great as it should be. My thermal shift can hardly be called a shift and it worries me that I simply don’t produce enough progesterone. Still, that doesn’t stop this hopeful hypochondriac from turning slightly nuts during her two-week wait.
I am convincingly feeling all the early pregnancy symptoms you could possibly come up with.
Lack of Energy? Check!
This is how my mind screws with my common sense during the two-week wait. Am I feeling tired? I know I am. Am I more tired than usual? I think so. Could I be? Wait a minute, didn’t I have to go to the toilet three nights in a row? I never have to go to the toilet during the night. Can I possibly be? Ouch, those cramps, they seem sharper than other months, don’t you think? I thinks so! Could I really be? What about my cervical mucus, it seems to be a lot considering I’m post-ovulation. Common, what more do I need, I must be pregnant!
It got even crazier than that. I am slightly embarrassed to admit it but I have even been walking around sniffing everything proving to myself that I have a heightened sense of smell. So do I? If I use common sense, I can’t really say I do. After all, I did almost have my nose in the coffee grind, when I concluded the coffee seems to stink more than it usually does. Only usually, I obviously don’t put my nose in the grind.
Mostly, I’m a normal person, apparently, some of that normalcy disappears during the two week wait. Today, I even caved after promising myself I would NOT take a pregnancy test until at least 13th November. Of course it was negative, I’m only 8 days dpo. Though it was obviously negative, I still squinted my eyes, trying to find what wasn’t there. I turned the stick under a lamp, you never know, it could just need a better light source. Eventually I ran out of excuses, except one until Aunt Rose arrives, “Oh well, it was probably too early, let’s try again tomorrow.”
I have made a new promise to myself, don’t test again until at least 12 days dpo. Will I make it? Probably not…