Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. – A.A. Milne
As any newly pregnant lady, I was extremely excited and anxious when I got that highly anticipated positive test. It was my first pregnancy, so I had an uncontrollable urge to ensure everything was fine. After all, we all know the statistics, 1 out of 5 women will suffer an early miscarriage. I never imagined I would be one of them.
Having to wait 5-6 weeks to undergo a blood test and get a first scan was just too much to bear. I wanted a sense of security and I wanted it now. Would I pay for a private blood test? Seeing my my hgc levels going up would certainly make me feel better, no? My less than amazing plan, the clearblue dual digital home tests. The result scared me, as it read 1-2 weeks pregnant. It should have read 2-3 weeks by now, as the doctor calculated I was 4 weeks 3 days pregnant. I was also experiencing quite some groin pains, not crampy, but a constant pain, sometimes even preventing me from walking. The added insecurity hit me hard.
Knowledge is power, so I surfed through millions of mommy forums to appease myself. I’m not spotting nor bleeding, I’m not cramping, certainly this means everything is fine. These tests are not the benchmarks of hormone levels. Yes, I convinced myself everything was fine. Until one night, the pain was so unbearable I went to the early pregnancy unit. Certainly they would set my mind at ease. They didn’t.
Though, Clearblue probably shouldn’t be used to monitor your pregnancy progress, the test did turn out to be right. My Hormone levels weren’t increasing as they should. From 240 hgc and 40 progesterone to 390 hgc and 36 progesterone. My pregnancy would not be viable. My heart broke, and the emotional rollercoaster went full speed ahead . When will I miscarry? What can I expect?
A few days later I woke up, as my husband was making coffee and I knew, something is right. My super sense power was gone. I didn’t hate the smell of coffee anymore, instead, I even craved a cup. That evening the bleeding started.
My 5 symptoms were:
For me pain was the first symptom. I had pains straight away since week 4. I can only describe it as a constant pain similar to a serious sports injury in my groin. Personally I had no cramping until the actual miscarriage. I didn’t have the other typical pains, which can include abdomen pain, pain in the pelvic area or lower back and cramping. From experience, it’s unbelievably difficult to determine whether these pains were abnormal, or simply an odd pregnancy pain we all have to deal with.
2. Why am I not sick?
80% of women have to deal with morning sickness. I hardly had any pregnancy symptoms. I had no nausea and wasn’t really tired. I can’t even say my breasts were all that sensitive. Not everyone will get these pregnancy symptoms and it might have even been too early to experience them, but I felt it could have been a sign something wasn’t right.
3. Pregnancy symptoms disappeared.
The one pregnancy symptom I did have, was my über sensitive smell. I woke up one morning and suddenly certain scents such as alcohol and wine didn’t bother me anymore. Where did the stinkiness go? I’ll never admit to it, but I did smell the trash and it suddenly didn’t bother me at all.
4. Pregnancy hormone levels not doubling
My blood tests showed early on that my pregnancy levels weren’t increasing as they should have. It was a double-edged sword. I knew my pregnancy wasn’t viable, so I could mentally prepare for it, but at the same time it’s a mental punishment to know your pregnancy is coming to and end and there is nothing you can do about it but wait and go walk yourself through it.
I didn’t really spot at all and thought that was sign things must have been right. My body skipped the spotting process and started to seriously bleed when I was in the midst of my miscarriage. Bleeding and spotting is a tricky one. 30% of women experience some sort of bleeding in the beginning of their pregnancy and still go on to deliver beautiful healthy babies.
These were my symptoms, and it’s well possible you may have others, or you may even have all of these and not miscarry. All I can say is, if you have any concerns or you are stressed out about what’s going on, immediately contact your healthcare professional. Don’t wait, don’t drive yourself crazy and don’t make any assumptions.
Baby dust to all!